Turn Her On With Food

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Make Her Seduce You

 

Add action to your sex life: Coax her to do the stuff you only dream of

Sexual Inhibitions: Unleash Her Wild Side

We wish every woman treated sex as if it were a Jason Statham movie -- nonstop action, lots of screams, 20 explosions per minute. If you feel the same way, maybe it's time you traded in your silent partner for someone a bit more adventurous. Someone who knows enough sex tricks to write her own HBO series. Follow our advice and you won't have to look far. She's sleeping next to you. Yeah, that's right, the very same woman in the long flannel nightgown, who nodded off during The Office at 8:30. Well, it's time for a wake-up call.

PROBLEM: She initiates sex about as often as Libya initiates peace

While one survey showed that nearly two-thirds of women say they initiate sex at least sometimes, the bad news is that she counts occasional hair-flipping as initiation. At least once every few weeks, it'd be nice to have our shirts torn apart by someone other than the dry cleaner.

SOLUTION: Buy her new shoes

It works two ways. One, you're playing into her idea of foreplay: Doing something terribly nice and out of the ordinary makes her want you more. And, even more important, it gives you the chance to work all of those sensitive nerve endings in her feet. When you check her for fit, linger around the tips of her toes. Don't be surprised if she kicks off her shoes as soon as you get home.

PROBLEM: She hides her body under sheets, pillows, and you

You've spent your life imagining your body next to airbrushed babes from beer commercials. She's spent the same time comparing herself with them. If she doesn't like to reveal flesh, it's probably because she's not comfortable showing it off to you.

SOLUTION: Stop telling her how much you love her legs

Women are weird this way. "If you say something nice about her breasts, she'll just wonder why you don't like her butt," says Pamela Regan, Ph.D., a psychologist at California State University in Los Angeles. Go for general compliments. Tell her, "Your body is incredible."

PROBLEM: Your bedroom sounds like high-school detention -- silence, with maybe a few giggles

Men love it when women moan, scream, and pant. It makes it sound -- to the flight attendants, anyway -- as if we know what we're doing.

SOLUTION: Create chaos

If she's quiet, it's probably because she's afraid of waking the guards. So create background noise to make her feel relaxed -- run the dishwasher, have sex in the shower, drop a CD. You can even sing a little: When you're giving her oral sex, hum along. The low vibrations from your vocal cords will feel incredible to her. Press firmly with your lips; that's where you'll generate the most vibration

PROBLEM: She's squeamish about giving you oral sex

Maybe she's shy, maybe she doesn't know what you like, maybe she equates oral sex with an unpleasant circus trick.

SOLUTION: Turn her hands into a bumper

Lou Paget, author of How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure, gives seminars on proper oral-sex technique. So she's a hero in our book, especially after she shared this tip for mouth-to-south resuscitation. When your partner starts giving you oral sex, take her hands off your thighs and hold them with yours (she'll like that). Then guide her hands to your penis so they form a tube around it. As her mouth goes up and down, rotate her hands clockwise and counterclockwise. The bonus for you: Different tactile sensations make it feel even better than straight oral sex. The bonus for her: smooth sailing will boost her confidence. Her hands will act as a comfortable bumper between the 3 inches of her mouth and the 5 inches (or more) of your penis.

PROBLEM: She won't lay a hand on you

There's no reason why foreplay has to be limited to kissing, unhooking straps, and kicking the dog out of the room.

SOLUTION: Tell her your neck hurts

Sex without fondling is more of a drag race than a pleasure trip: No warm-up and you'll be lucky if it lasts 3.2 seconds. Your goal is to have her take a few laps around your body, with several important pit stops. Start by complaining of a stiff neck. After she helps out, offer to do hers. Switch body parts back and forth. When she starts reaching your lower half, take her hands and have her position one hand vertically, the other horizontally -- palm to palm. She'll then lower these palms of pleasure over your penis. When she strokes you, your penis will slide up between her fingers. Use a little Astroglide and she'll have you bleating out of her hand.

PROBLEM: Her orgasms roughly coincide with congressional elections

Her orgasms don't just make her feel good; they're an undeniable marker of your success as a sex machine. The fewer she has, the wimpier you feel.

SOLUTION: Distract her

The top cause of orgasmic difficulty in women is that they're thinking about it too much, says Mark Elliott, Ph.D., a sex therapist. If you can keep her mind on other things, you increase the chances that her quakes will be picked up by the geology department at the local university. Try "69," kiss her passionately while having intercourse, encourage her to tell you about her fantasies as she gets more and more aroused -- anything to keep her from focusing on why she's not having an orgasm. If that fails, tell her about this position: While she's on top, she should push her left leg forward so it slides slightly toward your head (her knees stay bent) and gently slide her right leg toward your feet. Every few thrusts, she should alternate positions. The pelvic pressure this position creates -- and the rotation around your penis -- is pretty damn orgasmic. If she asks where you heard about it, do what we do: Say you read it in a magazine.

PROBLEM: She won't experiment

For many women, it boils down to this: She thinks that if she tries fancy techniques, you'll think she's a slut.

SOLUTION: Give her a squeaky-clean source of dirty ideas (and cheesecake recipes)

Buy her a subscription to Redbook -- surprisingly, by our count, an average issue has more information about sex technique than other women's magazines. Do whatever you want to get it in your house: Tell her you found it on the train, or in the men's-room stall. It won't be long before she's searching for "35 New Places to Touch a Man

The Top 10 Signs She's Interested in You

Some women go out looking for sex. Here's how to find them and make it happen.

1. She's Chatting Up the Bartender

A flirtatious woman can hardly contain herself. She won't let a male waiter or bartender take her order without flashing a smile and saying something silly, like, "What can you make me that would be really yummy?"

2. She's Scanning the Room

When women go out to bond with friends, they have blinders on. If they're not looking around, don't bug them. But when they want to mingle, they'll be scanning for cute men. They may even sit facing the room instead of each other.

3. She's Playing Games

Darts, pool, pinball—women know this makes them easier to approach. That's why they do it. It's easy to get a man's attention when you're about to jab him in the ribs with a pool cue.

4. Her Drink is Big, Frozen, and Blue

She's ready to party, which means meeting new people and having a good time, not getting naked with the first guy who buys her another round. But sometimes it does mean getting naked with the first hot, cool guy who buys her another round.

5. She Sends You a Zoolander Eye Lock

And the eyebrow raise, and/or at least two smiles (full, open-lipped, teeth smiles). Go over there and talk to her already. Caveat: There's a small chance she just thinks you're funny looking, but go ahead, have some balls. She's worth it.

6. Her Pupils are Dilated

If she's feeling stimulated by you (not just sexually), her pupils will dilate. That's because her body is programmed to want to see more of whatever's exciting her, so her brain tells her irises to let in more light. Time to make your move.

7. She Lets You Get Close

As you flirt, stand or sit within 6 inches of her. If she seems unruffled, move closer. Eventually you want your thigh to be pressed against hers, whether you're standing or sitting. If she's into it, she won't back off.

8. She's a Chatterbox

If she leans forward when you're talking or asks you endless questions, the only way to shut her up is to kiss her.

9. She Uses Her Tongue

A make-out session is a prerequisite to any sexual proposition. Kiss her lips softly and note how intensely she's kissing back. You want the "I want to eat you alive" kind of kiss, not the sweet "I'm not a dirty girl" kind of kiss.

10. She's Wearing Thigh-High Stockings

Women only wear sexy underthings when they're expecting a man to see them. If she's wearing a thong, she's trying to avoid panty lines, but sex is on her mind, too. Anything black, red, pink, leopard print, or lace equals "I want you."

Have Sex 8 Times This Week

If there's one thing men and women both want, it's more sex. It's no surprise: Most of us put sex low on our list of priorities, far below work, sleep, taking care of the kids, and sometimes, we admit, watching the game.

And while all of those are important things, so is sex: Getting it on burns calories; reduces your risk of prostate cancer; and releases endorphins, which improves your mood and helps you relax. Perhaps best of all, doing the deed strengthens your relationship—and that leads to more sex.

So how do you go from getting some to getting (much) more? The trick is to change up your daily approach. Try these ideas this week. They'll spark your own ideas for what to do next week, and the week after, and . . .

Monday: Anti-Stress Sex

The first day of the week has her tension-levels skyrocketing. Ease her into sex by waiting until an hour after dinner, when she's had time to unwind. Begin rubbing her temples, neck, and shoulders until you see them drop, and the tension fall out of her face. (That telltale line between her eyebrows will disappear.) Then let your hands slide down to her quads, and rub her thighs until they relax completely. At this point, she'll no doubt welcome your fingers on her clitoris.

Tuesday: Before-Dinner Quickie

Lean in for a long, wet, romantic kiss before you both have bellies full of food. Let the make-out session linger on (and on and on . . . ) as you press her back up against the kitchen cabinets. When she melts in your arms, push her skirt up and lift her up onto the counter.

Wednesday: The Dry Hump

Get over Hump Day by rediscovering the joys of dry humping. This is perfect for that moment when the DVD ends and you're both lying on the couch. Roll on top of her, and target her neck and collarbone with your mouth while slowly grinding your crotch against hers. Increase the pressure until she's worked up and is reaching for your zipper.

Thursday: Lazy Sex

Wait until you're curled up in bed to spoon her. Run your hand languidly along the side of her torso, hips, and thigh several times before letting your fingers wander between her legs. When her breathing deepens and she starts to sigh, slide in from behind and proceed with minimal energy or fuss.

Friday: Post-Going Out Sex

Don't wait to get settled. Start kissing at the door, unbutton her blouse in the hallway, then lay her down on the living room carpet. Don't be shy about getting a little aggressive.

Saturday: Shower Sex

Head out on a bike or run in the hot afternoon sun so that a shower is a must when you get back home. Soap her up, wash her hair, and run your hands all over her body to help rinse off the suds. When you both step out of the tub, instead of handing her a towel, get down on your knees and put your tongue to work on her fresh, clean body.

Sunday: Morning Sex, Times 2

Spend a half day in bed—but not the way you did as a kid. After you've slipped out of the sack to brush your teeth and grab a glass of water, climb back in and coax her into a sleepy a.m. romp. Afterward, use pillow talk and cuddling to keep her between the sheets until you feel something stirring again.

Let your second go-round be about exploration. Look and touch every inch of her. Kiss places you've neglected for months. This one isn't about reaching your peak or hers, it's about savoring every sensation.

Music and Sex

A Songwriter's Guide to Seduction

Hansard is the somewhat scruffy Irishman who plays a Dublin street musician in Once, a low-budget film that attracted a devoted following and gushing reviews.

And now, an Oscar nomination. One of the songs in the film, "Falling Slowly," has been nominated in the Best Original Song category. The Academy Awards are scheduled for Feb. 24—if the writers' strike doesn't interfere.

"Falling Slowly" was written by Hansard and Marketa Irglova, his co-star and girlfriend who, like Hansard, is a musician, not an actor.

Hansard, lead singer of the band The Frames, was a natural onscreen, since the character was based in part on him.

He plays a "busker," a street musician, and she is a trained pianist too poor to own a piano. In this naturalistic musical, their singing is part of the story, not a bogus song-and-dance: He performs in the street; she plays piano in a store; and they join voices as the quietly moving romance progresses.

Their performance of "Falling Slowly" (which they'll sing, presumably, at the Oscars) is a pivotal moment in the film. He shows her the chords and sings a bit of it; she joins in on piano and begins to harmonize.

Hansard talked with MensHealth.com about the role of music in courtship.

In “Falling Slowly,” the opening words are “I don't know you, but I want you.” Is that a good line?

Singing it, everyone thinks you're sort of a deep poet. Whereas saying it, you're just a total creep.

How can a non-musician use music to help him with women?

The “mix tape” idea has been with every generation. Maybe in the old days it was books or whatever. I did it lots. One of the first things I ever did to impress a girl was buying Bowie Live. Buying her a record was such a smart move.

[With a mix tape] you're trying tell her all the things that you can't verbalize. A mix tape is all about saying exactly what you want to say without saying it. So you don't want anything that's too romantic on there. You want to put something on that's more mysterious with romantic overtones. But it isn't, like, Frank Sinatra. If you go for that, you're fooked.

Any suggestions for a mix CD?

You've gotta go in with a bit of Pixies. It's got to show your personality, too—it's gotta have a bit of Nick Drake on there. A bit insular, a bit outgoing. At the same time, you don't want to put any metal on there, because that's going to turn her off too. You've gotta put Van Morrison on there. Van is going to open all the doors for you. And you've got to put a bit of Leonard Cohen on, because you've got to show this lady that you're a thinker.

Did you get into music to get girls?

Who didn't? Actually, I got into music first of all out of a sincere love of it. My older brother was a fierce womanizer. He was a good-looking guy. Not that I'm not, but my brother was the handsome guy, which put me in the insecure bracket.

One of the girls I fell in love with in the neighborhood when I was a child was an American girl who had come to where we lived, a real working-class area. Gorgeous girl, I was totally in love with her. And I came home one day and found my brother  in bed with her. Which was devastating for me. I think after that I realized that I hadn't a fookin' chance. So I took up the guitar.

The funny thing about music is, I'd be lying to say I got into it just for women. But what I got into it for was some personal thing that was mine. Ultimately it probably does come down to women, when you think of all endeavors in life, whether it's poetry or painting.

We're all trying to find something, possibly to show it off. We're digging for gold, but we're digging for gold so people can see it. Or we can sell it.

How did music change things for you?

I learned how to play the guitar, and I found myself mixing with a bunch of people who were much older than me, which I really enjoyed as a kid. I remember my headmaster saying to me, “Look, you're a bright kid. You can tell me the track listings of  Street Legal by Bob Dylan, and you can tell me who played bass on Neil Young's Harvest, but you can't tell me the square root of 9.

“I really think you're kind of wasting your education here. So here's an experiment. Why don't you go into the center of Dublin, go busking. Take your instrument down there and start at the bottom rung of entertainment. Come back to me in a year, and if you still want to do school, I'll take you back. And if you don't, I'll be more than happy to see you go on your musical career.”

So I really excitedly jumped on the chance and learned a couple of songs. I remember I had Before the Flood, the live Bob Dylan album, and the version of “Just Like a Woman” on that record—I set myself a goal, it was just like homework: I had to learn how to sing “Just Like a Woman” like he does on that record. And if I could pull that off, I'd be able to do that street musician thing. And I did, and I managed it, and over a few weeks I taught my voice how to do that.

After that I never worried about romance again. It was one of those weird things. When I was a kid, I felt like my brother was Batman and I was Robin. I was doing all the work, whereas my brother was just wading in on his charm. And later on, I felt like, “Shit, I'm Batman.” I'm not the same kind of Batman, but I'm fooking Batman. And I've got songs  and I've got ideas.

The weirdest thing is, when you set your sights on something that isn't scoring a girl, or winning the female species, if you set your sights on something else, all of that stuff just comes to you. It's true—it comes because desperation has a very, very strong smell. If you're a guy who's chasing the ladies and that's your goal, then you're fooked, man. They know that shit, and they're nowhere near you. Whereas if you're relaxed and you know what you're doing, you're on a different path.

12 Ways to Have the Wild Sex She Craves

Everyone wants sex, but no one's talking dirty. Dig deep into the sexual psyches of thousands of men and women around the country, as we did, and this little irony stands out. Lack of communication—not lack of interest—is the top bedroom complaint for men. For women, it ranks second, just behind too-short foreplay.

That's why we brought both sides to the table for a sex summit (hoping, of course, that it'd end with both sides on the table). With the help of Cosmopolitan magazine, we asked 6,000 men and women to tell us everything—what they like, what they hate, what they've done, what they're dying to try. The results were as surprising—men and women want sex equally often—as they were enticing: Most women want to experiment and are just waiting for you to ask.

But our survey results are more than just a collection of dirty secrets. Combined with tips from our experts, they're an instruction manual for giving her what she wants, every time, while at the same time indulging your inner freakiness. See, it's a win-win. Let the dialogue begin.

Turn Her On Instantly

"Women want sex just as much as—if not more than—men do," says Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., a sex researcher at Indiana University. "But women often feel shy about making the first move." Too shy, say the 66 percent of men who wish women would initiate more often.

How to bring her out of her sexual shell? Coax her. Tempt her. Tease her as if she were a cat chasing a feather on a string, advise our experts. Give her a deep, sigh-inducing kiss—then stop. Or pull her close, press tight against her thigh, then move away.

"You're letting her know you're open to her advance but making her bring it to the next level of intimacy," says Amy Levine, a New York City based sexuality educator. Once she's comfortable making the moves, she'll be more likely to pounce when the urge strikes.

Stoke the Home Fires

Unleash your inner Emeril and you'll nail the top two mood-boosters for women. "When you cook for somebody, it says, 'You're worth my time,' and that's the biggest turn-on of all," says Martha Hopkins, author of Intercourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook.

Our advice: Whip up an easy appetizer, not a five-course meal. A simple asparagus-and-prosciutto dish—sauté the stalks in olive oil for 3 minutes, wrap with prosciutto, sprinkle on goat cheese and pine nuts—is packed with zinc, a key mineral needed for maintaining erections.

Follow with a chocolate dessert and you'll load up on phenylethylamine, a neurotransmitter that activates the brain's pleasure center, and caffeine, which can jolt sex drive.

Dance Her Pants Off

Home cooking not cutting it? "Take her ironic dancing," suggests Nicole Beland, the Men's Health Girl Next Door. Go somewhere ridiculous: senior night at a ballroom-dancing club; line dancing, if you both hate country music; a '70s disco joint; an '80s club playing a sickening mix of Dee-Lite, Salt-N-Pepa, and George Michael. "Dancing really well at any of these places would actually be more embarrassing than if you just did the robot," says Beland. "The two of you will goof around, make fun of everyone else, and end up having an amazing time."

She's a serious dancer? Make merengue your mission. "It's the easiest Latin dance to learn, and it's sensual and energetic," says Yuri Datsyk, owner of the Midtown Fred Astaire Dance Studio, in New York City. J.Lo didn't marry Marc Anthony for his looks, after all.

Take Her Home Tonight

"She probably won't be shocked if you suggest she come back to your place after a first date," says Beland. But will she say yes? Make this your litmus test.

1. Graze her thigh. As you flirt, stand or sit within 6 inches of her. If she seems unruffled, move closer. Eventually you want your thigh to be pressed against hers, whether you're standing or sitting. If she's into it, move on to step two, says Beland. If she squirms, back off.

2. Plant one, already. A make-out session is a prerequisite to a sexual proposition, says Beland. Pay attention to how intensely she's kissing back. You want the "I want to eat you alive, starting with your head" kind of kiss, not the sweet little "I'm not really a dirty girl" kind of kiss.

3. Pop the question. Your approach can be either funny ("So, what do you say we go back to my place for milkshakes and Jenga?"); hesitant and humble ("I don't even know how to ask you this, but I would really love to be alone with you"); or straightforward and sweet ("Please, God, tell me that we can go home together"). Dial back the sleaze factor and, "chances are, if she's been shoving her tongue down your throat, any one of them could probably end up working," says Beland.

Follow Her Lead

Foreplay can be a fact-finding mission, not just a necessary evil. Syncing the way you communicate in bed—verbally and nonverbally—will rev her engines more quickly, says Brian Mustanski, Ph.D., an assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

He suggests a technique called "sensate focus": "During foreplay, agree that the genitals are off limits. Touch the other parts of her body, using fingers, a feather, a silk scarf, or anything that turns her on, and ask her to describe how it feels," he says. Watch and listen for nonverbal clues, too—moans, thrusts, gasps. Work her hot spots properly and she'll be begging to move to the main event, in which you'll watch for those same signals. The better you're able to read her, the more likely you'll reach a happy ending.

Score Before Breakfast

The hard sell seldom works. Here's how to heat her up before your waffle pops.

1. Wake up earlier. "A woman won't want sex if she feels hurried," says Nagoski. "Her clitoris won't respond to even the most skilled touch if she's worried about being late for work. And besides, she needs about 20 minutes to reach orgasm, anyway." Set the alarm early or, better yet, make your move on the weekend to ensure that she's relaxed and responsive.

2. Whisper, don't poke. Women need aural stimulation to help kill self-consciousness about eye boogers and bed head, says Nagoski. So pull her close and say, "You're so beautiful in the morning," or, "I love waking up with you." If you're spooning, thaw her out with some sensual kisses to the back of her neck.

3. Bring her some OJ. Juice masks morning breath, and "the citrus will jumpstart her arousal system," says Alan Hirsch, M.D., director of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, in Chicago. Bonus: Vitamin C boosts your adrenaline, giving you extra stamina. She'll appreciate that.

Find Your Rhythm

Don't sell yourself short. "Every guy I've ever, um, known has confessed that he didn't think his penis size was anything to write home about," says Beland. "But they were all perfectly well hung."

Make the most of what you have by using powerful, deep thrusts at a slow-to-medium pace. "It can be wonderfully intense. Pistonlike porno thrusting feels horrible. It can leave a girl dry, sore, and bored," she says. Add side-to-side movement, or up-and-down pelvic pressure against her clitoris when you're all the way inside, to vary the stimulation.

Kiss Better Below

"Being too rough" is the worst mistake men make during oral sex, the ladies said. "Guys think they need to thrust and flick," says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a New York City–based sex therapist and the author of She Comes First. "But often what she wants is a firm, still tongue—a point of pressure—so she can set the rhythm and pace."

Another trick: Ask her to kiss your earlobe with the same pressure she prefers during oral, then cop her style next time you're south of the border.

Make a Bigger Bang

Thinking about baseball or the weather tends to kill the moment entirely, and the oft-cited stop-start technique can leave her hanging. Instead, try thinking about other ways of pleasuring her, says Mustanski.

When you feel your point of no return approaching—it's technically called "ejaculatory inevitability"—treat it as a cue to start stimulating her in a different way. Massage her clitoris with your fingers. Or, while inside her, press against it with the part of your abdomen just above your penis. Or stop and give her oral for a while.

"If you're smooth, she'll have no idea you're just trying to regulate your ejaculation," says Mustanski. "But all you have to do is let your system settle from its excited point."

Unleash Her Wild Side

Sexual experimentation is earned, not inherited. Unless you're dating a dominatrix, it requires time, tact, and trust: 66 percent of the women we surveyed said they're most willing to experiment later in a relationship.

How can you put yourself on the fast track? "Make her feel like she won't be judged," says Candida Royalle, an erotic-film producer and the author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do. "There's the whole 'slut' complex you have to get past." Here's a three-step plan for jumpstarting her wildest desires.

1. Plant the seed. The best erotic icebreaker? The written word. "Women like the story aspect of porn," says Patti Britton, Ph.D., author of The Art of Sex Coaching. "But sometimes pornography can be too shocking." A softer touch: Fuel her imagination by slipping a bookmark into a sexy scene in a classic, classy novel—The Garden of Eden, by Ernest Hemingway, say, or something contemporary like The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger.

2. Feel her out. Introduce the idea indirectly. Add a steamy, woman-friendly film to your Netflix queue—In the Cut, The Thomas Crown Affair (the newer one), or our favorite, A History of Violence—and use the sex scene as a conversation catalyst. Or reference something sexy you saw in a magazine (such as this very article), Royalle suggests. "That way, you can ask your partner, 'Did you ever think of doing that?' without pointedly saying, 'This is what I want.'"

3. Start tame. Come to bed in buttless chaps and a ball gag and, chances are, you'll spend the night alone. Try pubic grooming as a starter kit for kink: More than 67 percent of women we surveyed said they'd be up for a trim, if asked (and 55 percent have gone completely bare at least once). "It helps pave the way for more playful experimentation," says Royalle, who suggests offering to let her trim you first. (Ninety-five percent of men said they'd be up for a trim.)

Watch and Learn

Masturbation isn't just her release valve; it's your sex school—if she'll let you watch. "It's very intimate, but it is important for her to share what she likes," says Melinda Gallagher, cofounder of the women's sexual empowerment group CAKE and coauthor of A Piece of CAKE: Recipes for Female Sexual Pleasure.

Lower the stage-fright factor by encouraging her to guide your hands. Once she's okay with sharing, Gallagher says, she might be willing to start a toy box—or pry open the one she's been hiding from you. No toys? Log on. "Shopping together lets you talk about your fantasies and your limits," says Nagoski. All without hitting the smut shop on Route 6.

Fulfill Her Every Fantasy

Role playing means more than squeezing her into that old cheerleader outfit. "A woman's sexual thoughts are kinky and creative," says Gallagher. "Becoming someone else can unlock those desires." Translation: She'll be up for acting out her wildest fantasies. "Some women like the rush of being swept away," says Gallagher. So, what are you waiting for, men? There's a damsel in distress in the next room. Go save her.

15 Things She Doesn't Want to Hear in Bed

1. "Do you want to take a shower first?"

2. Chris Berman.

3. "He shoots, he scores," or any other sort of sports metaphor.

4. Whitesnake singing "Is This Love," Poison singing "Every Rose Has a Thorn," and the remaining 12 songs on your '80s power-ballads compilation disc.

5. Your roommate watching Girls Gone Wild Doggy Style on the other side of the wall.

6. [Gulp] "I don't really keep track. Maybe 35 . . . you know, give or take a few . . . or five."

7. Any comments whatsoever about her intimate grooming habits.

8. "Are those real?"

9. "Julie . . . from the gym" on your machine, saying she had "an ab fab time" at "couples yoga" yesterday.

10. The silent roar of your leopard-print silk sheets.

11. "Let me slip in halfway, and then I'll use a condom." (Yes, there are men who really say stuff like this.)

12. Comments on her sheets. It scares her when you know thread counts.

13. "Do you want to keep going?"

14. "I'm ready for a cold one."

15. "Herpes."

10 Lessons About the Female Orgasm

Women want to have them, men want to deliver them, and the gap between the two sexes is never more evident than on the first day of class, when 150 students pile into a lecture hall alive with sexual tension.

"I should be able to tell if a woman is faking it, right?" ask the timid guys.

"Why does it take me so long to orgasm?" ask the frustrated girls.

It's at this point that the men start looking confused and a little somber. If women are flummoxed by their orgasms, they're thinking, what hope do we have?

Lots, it turns out. Sure, the female orgasm is among the most fickle of human behaviors. But by the end of a semester, most guys and girls have learned enough to study it in the wild. You can, too, because I've boiled down a semester's worth of learning into 10 simple starter tips. So sit down, listen up, and whip out your pencil. Class is in session.

Take Her Off the Clock

Just as you're concerned about lasting longer, many women are so self-conscious about taking too long that they end up faking orgasm or deciding to go without. The solution? Stop obsessing over orgasms—yours and hers. A recent brain-imaging study by Swedish researchers shows that relaxation is the single most important factor in bringing a woman to orgasm.

So tell her she has all night. The better you convey not just tolerance for a lengthy buildup, but also appreciation of her sexual pleasure—orgasm or not—the easier it will be for her to unwind and explode. Oh, and studies show that it takes 15 to 40 minutes for the average woman to reach orgasm. Going somewhere?

Turn Her On with Your Talent

The best sex starts long before the clothes come off. Talent—more than rugged good looks or a chiseled midsection—is a powerful aphrodisiac, according to research by my colleagues at The Kinsey Institute. (Less surprisingly, poor hygiene and a messy home are among women's biggest turnoffs.)

So nail "Paradise City" during karaoke. Or make her die laughing at your self-deprecating display of atrocious dartsmanship. Yes, humor is a talent, too.

When She's Naked, Speak Up

Women who worry about the way they look down there are less likely to orgasm easily during oral sex, according to my research. And a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research suggests that women who feel embarrassed or ashamed about their bodies have less sexual experience and are less sexually assertive.

Clearly, you have everything to gain with flattery. If you love the way she looks naked—and you do, right?—share the news.

Always Be Tender Up Top

During foreplay, gently brush the tops, bottoms, and sides of her breasts; these areas are actually more sensitive than an unaroused areola and nipple. Gradually move in toward her nipples, paying attention to how she responds. As things heat up, the nipples will become flushed with blood, and the sensory receptors will become primed for direct stimulation. You'll kickstart the bloodflow and lubrication down below, starting her slow buildup.

Learn Her Key Strokes

One thing many women love during manual stimulation: a slow buildup. Here's how to do it: Lie next to her, lightly bracing the heel of one hand just above her clitoris. Now run your ring and middle fingers along the length of her outer lips. Graze the skin at first, adding pressure as the tension builds. Cup the area around her clitoris with your palm to add indirect stimulation—most women are too sensitive to receive direct contact early on. As she becomes aroused, brace your hand on her mons—her pubic mound, the fleshy area that covers her pubic bone—and tease the clitoris with the middles and tips of your fingers as you move your entire hand.

Change Your Angle

Play Ponce de León and explore various types of penetration to figure out what turns her on most. Your first stop: her G-spot, located about 1 to 2 inches up the front wall of her vagina. This spongy region swells during arousal. Try massaging the area slowly with your fingers. A lot of women find it mind blowing. Not her thing? Just move on.

Use Moves that Multitask

To maximize her pleasure, increase the amount of contact you'll have with her most sensitive parts. Here's one move that will drive her wild: Ask her to lie on her back, with her legs stretched out. Now climb on top. Curl your arms around her shoulders, supporting yourself with your elbows and moving your chest up by her chin. The goal is to bring the base of your penis in contact with her clitoris. Thrust slowly, focusing on up-and-down movement instead of in-and-out penetration.

Another great trick: Move your pubic mound in a circle or up and down against her clitoris. You'll get a break from high-intensity stimulation, and she'll receive focused attention where it often matters most.

Learn to Sense Her Orgasm

Ease into oral sex—don't just attack. First kiss her inner thighs and her inner and outer lips, then work your way inside using firm, broad strokes with your tongue. Watch her hips for a clue to the rhythm she likes. Listen to her gasps and moans as you experiment with different techniques.

And watch for signs she's close to climaxing, such as a subtle deepening in the color of her labia caused by increased bloodflow. Or rest a hand on her stomach and feel for the muscular contractions that immediately precede her orgasm.

Follow Her Lead

Once you reach your point of no return, you'll climax even if you're interrupted by a tuba-playing, thong-clad Bea Arthur. But your lady could hit the "off" switch if you stop or change moves midway to orgasm. We love it when you try new things, and it's important to vary your technique, but once you've found a winner, stick with it until she crosses the finish line.

Let Her Finish First

Stalking the elusive tandem orgasm is an admirable goal, but many women—especially those with sensitive clitorises—respond better to a "ladies-first" strategy. If you rub the clitoris for a long time—during thrusting, for example—it can become too sore or desensitized to respond to manual or oral stimulation later. So satisfy her before intercourse.

Bonus: A woman's orgasm threshold drops after her first one, so it's often easier to bring her to climax through penetration after she's already had one. How does that sound for an encore?

7 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot

The heat of a new relationship is a chemical reaction—and it can fade with time. That is, unless you employ these seven incendiary strategies to keep the sparks flying.

Play Games with Her

Boosting her dopamine levels outside of the bedroom could pay dividends between the sheets. "Your brain can't differentiate between the external anxiety caused by a novel situation and the internal anxiety caused by being attracted to someone," says Victoria Zdrok, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist (and former Playboy playmate—wowza). "A boost outside of the bedroom can carry over for when it matters most."

The best way to increase her anxiety, sans cardiac arrest? Competition, says Zdrok, which also helps release sex drive-boosting testosterone. Sign up for a couples adventure race (usara.com) or just belly up at the local pub's trivia night; by competing on the same team, you'll also improve communication and cooperation, the two behavioral foundations of sexual success.

Wax Nostalgic

Revisiting that bed-and-breakfast romp of 3 months ago isn't just an exercise in nostalgia. Recalling the relationship's formative moments can stir up the hormone norepinephrine, which helps the brain shine an emotional klieg light on memories. "You'll unlock her passion," says sex therapist Laura Berman, Ph.D., director of the Berman Center in Chicago, "and intensify the new memories you're making, too."

The brain's internal archivist responds best to strong contextual cues—smells, environments, music, textures, even certain foods—so orient her mental rearview mirror by concocting a smorgasbord of evocative sights and sounds.

Lie Down on the Job

The monogamous prairie vole might not be your sexual role model, but researchers found that the creatures are literally addicted to their mates, thanks to their receptivity to oxytocin. That hormone battles stress and increases arousal (it's released by orgasm, after all), so the lesson here is clear: Up her dosage and she'll be hooked on you.

Physical contact (cuddling!) and muscle massage both unleash the chemical, so give her this sensual massage in the postcoital glow: Ask her to lie facedown, and, straddling the backs of her upper thighs, apply rotating thumb pressure to either side of her lower spine, says Linda Banner, Ph.D., author of Advanced Sexual Techniques. By the time you reach her shoulders and neck, the oxytocin jets should be firing full force.

Let Her Lead You

It pays to be her sexual party doll every now and then. A study at the University of Michigan found that female rats receive a dopamine boost (there it is again—the euphoria-inducing neurotransmitter) only when they control sex. But don't just offer her the blow-up valve. "Make sure she's not just hearing 'Do me the way I want to be done,' " says sex therapist Gloria Brame, Ph.D., author of Come Hither.

Instead, Brame suggests role-playing a scenario (76 percent of women surveyed by Men's Health said they'd be game for a little playacting) in which she's in a position of authority and you're the sexual novice. The fantasies women said they liked most: professor/student and nurse/patient.

Become a Stranger

Reinvent yourself outside the bedroom and you could help refresh her passion inside it. According to researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, we keep a sort of neural dossier on a person tucked away in our brain, just above the temples. This case file is overhauled when we meet their friends or develop deeper relationships with those we've already met, says William Pollack, Ph.D., a professor of psychiatry at Harvard medical school and a Men's Health mental-health advisor.

"She'll see you through their eyes, and it will bring out different aspects of your own personality," says Pollack, "stimulating love and lust neurotransmitters." So introduce her to Jack and Mona from your cycling group at a dinner party: It could encourage her to attack your body anew.

Learn New Moves

Trying new sex positions isn't just a new way to fit the key into the lock. "Anything novel or exciting is likely to drive up the levels of dopamine in her brain," says anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of Why We Love. Magnetic resonance imaging scans at Oxford University found that learning a new motor skill—whether it's fingering bar chords on your guitar or plucking a new sexual harmonic in bed—sets off a flurry of activity in many of the same brain regions activated during orgasm.

Sold? Get her on board by inviting her to browse the Men's Health Position Master to choreograph a brand-new bedroom pas de deux.

Reclaim Virginity

Send your sex life back to square one. "If you've learned how to pleasure her, it's too easy to forget about foreplay and all the other things that keep sex fresh," says Debbie Herbenick, Ph.D., a Men's Health sex advisor.

Start with a 3-day sex break to build anticipation, pooling dopamine behind her sexual Hoover Dam. Then spend a night necking like teenagers, clothes on. Wait 2 days and spend another one touching each other sensually—everywhere but the genitals.

Take 2 more days off and then use your lips instead of your fingertips to do the same. By this time, your dopamine will be redlining, and both of you will have a surplus of arousal-boosting testosterone. Bonus: The heightened physical sensitivity can unearth long-neglected erogenous zones when—finally—at the 2-week mark, you blow the dam

Via Mens Health

Supercharge Her Sex Drive

4 quick tricks that'll restore her lost libido and help you find what you're looking for

Regaining control of your erection on/off switch doesn't mean much if her sex button is stuck. Luckily, some of the cliched moves men have used to get women in the mood still work -- but for entirely different reasons.

Buy Her a Lobster Dinner

Old theory: Your class and taste impress her; your willingness to pick up the tab leaves her very appreciative.

New theory: Lobsters are a great source of phosphorus, the K-Y Jelly of minerals. "Phosphorus is important to help keep the vaginal tissues lubricated," which will help increase her comfort level and desire, says Pamela Madison, director of the Women's Sexuality Center in Santa Barbara, California. Order a side of carrots -- beta carotene raises blood levels of progesterone, a hormone linked to increased desire, says Madison.

Light Candles

Old theory: Candles equal romance; romance equals sex.

New theory: Picking the right scented candles can reduce her anxiety and put her in a more receptive mood for sex, says Alan Hirsch, M.D., director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. Go for the aroma of green apples; tests show it's one of the top scents for reducing stress in women. But avoid cherry. "We found that it inhibited sexual arousal," says Dr. Hirsch.

Slip Her a Sex Pill

Old theory: She unknowingly swallows Spanish fly; minutes later, she wants to do the horizontal mambo.

New theory: Tell your partner about ArginMax and maybe she'll slip some to herself. In a study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, women taking this supplement reported almost twice the increase in sex drive experienced by those taking a placebo.

The secret may lie in L-arginine, one of the pill's main ingredients. "L-arginine enhances the production of nitric oxide, which relaxes blood vessels and could improve desire," says Cynthia Finley, R.D., a nutritionist at Johns Hopkins University Bayview Medical Center.

Re-create a (Hot) Date

Old theory: Makes you look like a sensitive, thoughtful guy.

New theory: Whether you went to the movies or met for coffee, re-create the smell that dominated the date. "If she was sexually aroused by the scent in the past, reintroducing it will create the same arousal," says Dr. Hirsch. That's because the same part of the brain handles scent and emotions. So if you saw, say, Jerry Maguire in the theater, buy the DVD and Orville Redenbacher's Smart Pop Movie Theater microwave popcorn; it has all the aroma with none of the saturated fat.

Foods for Your Manhood

You can eat your way to better sexual health and improved performance in the sack

By: Holly Corbett

From Casanova's oysters to George Costanza's pastrami sandwich, men have been using food to enhance their sex lives for years. And now, research shows what you put in your mouth outside the bedroom can also boost your performance and overall sexual health. Check out these ingredients that'll improve your sex life faster than you can say "aphrodisiac."

For Healthier Sperm, Eat Your Greens

If you'd rather not have mutant sperm, try filling up on folate, a B vitamin that's key for cell production. Men low on folate may have 20 percent more unhealthysperm (swimmers that have missing or extra chromosomes) than those with higher levels, suggests a new study in the journal Human Reproduction.

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Which foods pack the most punch: Leafy greens (think: spinach and kale), citrus fruits, and beans are all full of folate. Another source? Avocados, which—not so coincidentally—the ancient Aztecs referred to as "testicle trees." The recommended daily amount is 400 micrograms, but study authors think upping your intake to 700 micrograms might give sperm extra protection from mutations.

Easy fixes: Swap lettuce for spinach the next time you order a sub, opt for chili with extra beans, or add orange juice to your post-workout smoothie.

To Boost Your Sex Drive, Get Shucking

The mineral zinc may work as a libido-enhancer by helping with testosterone production—higher levels of the hormone are linked to an increase in desire.

Bonus: Some research finds zinc may even play a part in warding off prostate cancer. Which foods pack the most punch: Oysters take the prize, hands down. Besides being known as a classic aphrodisiac (thanks to their resemblance to a certain female body part), oysters hold more zinc than almost any other food. "Casanova reportedly ate 50 raw oysters a day, but I recommend getting no more than double the RDA of 15 mg—about the amount in six oysters," Marrena Lindberg, author of The Orgasmic Diet. Other good sources include red meat, peanuts, cashews, and pumpkin seeds.

Easy fixes: Eat raw oysters on ice with some lemon juice or chili sauce. Or toss roasted pumpkin seeds or peanuts in your next salad.

For Better Erections, Fill Up On Fish

When it comes to keeping your sex sessions going long and strong, a certain amino acid known as L-Arginine may be man's best friend. "L-Arginine works likeViagra by increasing nitric oxide to help relax blood vessels and allow more blood flow to the penis," says Lindberg. Some studies suggest that getting three grams a day could make for better erections. Which foods pack the most punch: Many foods high in good-for-you omega 3s are also high in L-Arginine, such as free-range game, seafood, walnuts, and sesame seeds. Plus, omega 3s help your body better absorb L-Arginine, according to a study in Nutrition & Metabolism. There are no RDA guidelines for how much L-Arginine you should have, but Lindberg recommends getting your daily fix by eating omega-3 packed protein such as free-range beef and chicken, or fatty fish like salmon.

Easy fixes: Here's your excuse to try out that whipped-cream and chocolate-sauce fantasy: the dark stuff also has L-Arginine. And its no news flash that most women love chocolate, so make her happy in more ways than one by bringing home a box, and then sampling some for yourself.

Touch Her Here to Increase Her Pleasure

1. That Face

A woman's brain shuts down for orgasm. Commence the shutdown sequence by holding her head in your lap and massaging the area above her eyebrows with your thumbs. "People carry a lot of tension in the face, and this helps them release and become more receptive to arousal," says David Givens, Ph.D., author of Love Signals. Look for her lips to part, he says: "When a person is aroused, he or she will relax the muscles that keep the jaw shut."

2. Those Ears

These are portals to two forms of arousal: physical (reflexogenic) and mental (psychogenic), says Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., a sex researcher at Indiana University. Touch or massage the rim of her ear between your thumb and forefinger while cradling the back of her head with your fingers. (Ignore the insensitive earlobe.) As she responds, graze the ridge of her outer ear with the tip of your nose, says Anne Hooper, coauthor of 269 Amazing Sex Tips and Tricks for Men. "Just hearing you breathe will turn her on," she says.

3. That Neck

Brush your lips between her throat and chin, says Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., founder of mypleasure.com. "The skin is thinner where the body flexes. The nerves and blood vessels are closer to the surface—that's why it's also a perfume point." You'll engage sensory receptors and trigger an emotional response. "It feels very intimate to let a person that close," says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., a sex researcher with the Kinsey Institute, in Indiana.

4. Those Lips

Kissing is your entrance exam for the rest of her body. "It tells her that you understand how to be subtle, no matter where you are on her body," says Hooper. You're also giving her a hormonal hors d'oeuvre, flooding her hypothalamus (the brain's arousal center) with pheromone-laden smells and tastes. Softly lick her upper lip or tug it gently between your lips. Deep red lips indicate arousal.

5. Her Fingers

During a movie or long flight, tease her palm; hands are dense with sensory receptors. Spread your fingers outward from the upper part of her palm, slowly moving them up her fingers. Do it lightly—touch-sensitive receptors in the skin respond better than the pressure-sensitive receptors inside (whose job is grabbing). "It's discreet enough for no one to notice, but enticing enough to awaken other parts of her body," says Lauren Slade, founder of the Universal College of Reflexology.

6. Her Forearms

"The inner part of the wrist is extremely sensitive to temperature," says Herbenick. Try licking her wrist and blowing softly to create a cooling sensation—special receptors there are tuned to detect differences in temperature. (It's the site that moms and dads use to check heated baby formula.) And there are sensitive receptors in hair follicles: "Any area with fine, downy hair is going to respond best to a light, almost nonexistent touch," says Gardos. "Just stimulate the hairs and you'll give her shivers."

7. Those Breasts

Pay respects to the nerve-rich erogenous tissue at the top and underside of the breast before touching the nipple. "Your technique should be so light that it barely indents the skin," says Kerrie Grow McLean, a sex therapist at the Berman Center, in Chicago. The nipple (which, like the clitoris, feeds into orgasm-inducing neurons in the brain) contains receptors called Meissner's corpuscles, cells that adjust to varied stimuli, like the friction of a shirt or the moisture of a tongue. The longer you tease around the nipple, the more intense direct stimulation will be.

8. The Back of Her Knees

Many women find this spot ticklish at first. Just wait. "She probably is not aroused enough," says Gardos. Work on erogenous zones first. Cover the entire back of her leg, then trace your fingers down her thigh and calf and graze the back of her knee, using the full length of three fingers. A firmer touch can stimulate the pressure-sensitive nerve endings, or Pacini's corpuscles, in the skin as well, taking away the tickle.

9. Her Back

Knead the muscles between her shoulder blades and spine, and follow with light fingertip strokes. "As you get lower and lower down the back, the nerves become more sensitive," says Gardos. Let your fingers drift to her sides, gently touching the sides of her breasts. During sex, take a back-rub break to delay ejaculation. "Switching to a back rub is like, 'Wow, he's caring and considerate and not just all about sex,' " Herbenick says. "Little does she know he's also using the technique to last longer."

10. Those Legs

Dutch researchers found that the mere expectation of touch triggers activity in the planning and motivation centers of the brain, crucial for building arousal. "Women want to wonder, What is he going to do next?" says Herbenick. "That mindset is crucial for psychological arousal and orgasm." Stroke her thighs in the direction of her vagina, but pull away before you reach it. Breathe on her or brush your fingers very close, awakening the skin, Gardos says. "This will transmit a very different sort of sensation than if you're actually making contact."

6 Phrases to Get Her into Bed Tonight

These simple linguistic cues tell her you're the right man for this evening.

1. "I screwed up, and want to hear your thoughts."

Whether you blabbed a good friend's secret or ran over the neighbor's limited-edition bike, admit it. Confessing an error in judgment leaves you exposed and vulnerable, which makes a woman want to wrap you in her arms. Telling her about it wins her over even more—you're showing that you value her opinion. The resulting combo of compassion and confidence will inspire her to make everything all better—or at least distract you.

2. "Did you know you have a heart-shaped freckle on the back of your left thigh?"

After the first few months of sex, inch-by-inch body exploration yields to cut-to-the-chase carnality. That's a shame, because having her body mapped puts a woman in the mood for luxurious sex. Pull aside the blankets on a weekend morning and run your eyes and fingertips from her toes to her earlobes, making admiring comments along the way. You won't get past her elbows before she pulls you in for a deep, wet kiss.

3. "I'm organizing a team of volunteers for Summit for Someone."

Whether it's climbing mountains with inner-city kids or carrying the neighbor's groceries, helping others boosts your sexy factor for two reasons. First, altruism shows her that you can put your own needs aside, which inspires her to take care of them for you. Second, your good deeds make her feel as if she's dating up, because clearly you're a better person than she is. She'll want to join forces with you on your life's quest.

4. "You must be exhausted. Let's take a hot shower and I'll scrub your back."

The number-one reason your partner turns down sex is because she's stressed. And while she knows there's no better cure for wound-up nerves than a spring-release orgasm, it can be hard to shake off the day's distractions. By blasting the hot water and lighting candles, you'll offer a tension-melting solution she can't refuse. Once the hot water and your soapy hands chase the stress away, she'll finally feel sexy again.

5. "I want to accomplish a few key things in the next 5 years."

When a woman hears a man talk about the future with a "whatever" attitude, her level of respect for him drops and her thighs snap shut. She was surrounded by way too many of those directionless dudes back in college, and she has learned that men who have clear goals and realistic plans for achieving them are rare. She'll appreciate your farsightedness all the more. Making up your mind settles hers, as well.

6. "I'm taking the day off tomorrow to chaperone my niece's field trip."

While a woman is impressed by a man who's driven to succeed, she's even more tantalized by a striver who's willing to put a family member first—extra points if that family member is under 12. She'll instantly flash-forward to when you're the sweet, caring father of her children, at which point her heart will go all gooey. Come back from your kiddie outing with a cute stuffed animal for her and she'll practically drag you into bed.

Seduce Her in 10 Minutes

 

Many things run through a woman's mind when you meet. Here's how to go from "hello" to "oh my."

1. Your Approach

Her brain quickly vets your height and facial symmetry the moment you meet. Now convince her of your character. Approach confidently; don't pretend to bump into her. "Men tend to talk to each other at angles to avoid confrontation," says Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of Why We Love. "But women face each other head-on and maintain eye contact."

2. Your Introduction

A good handshake isn't a shortcut to her bed, but a bad one can doom you. Hands are loaded with tactile nerves, and people with weak, clammy handshakes were perceived as shy and neurotic in a recent University of Alabama study. So hold your drink in your left hand and give her a firm but not bone-crushing grasp. Pay attention to her grip as well: The same study showed that women who give firmer handshakes tend to be more adventurous.

3. Your Voice

The most attractive women prefer deep-voiced men, according to a recent study by Scottish researchers. It suggests high testosterone levels, a sign of strength and reproductive prowess. Push out air with your diaphragm, not your throat. This lengthens the column of air moving past your vocal cords. "It's like a built-in subwoofer," says voice coach Joanne Joella.

4. Your Icebreaker

Say something that will draw out details about her. "Your friends seem nice—how did you get to know them?" is a compliment and a window into her past. Forming a bond will release dopamine, a mood booster in her brain. Show off your interest with verbal nods of agreement ("uh-huh," "go on"), adds Alex Pentland, Ph.D., an MIT professor who designed software that assesses whether speed daters are feeling sparks.

5. Your Conversation

We all know to ask lots of questions and to avoid flat-out boasting. But don't sell yourself short. "Women listen very carefully for signs of status and wealth," says Fisher. Keep any references to financial or personal success oblique, though—let her curiosity draw out the details. Another crucial conversation tip: Talk at the same pace she does and she'll consider you intelligent, kind, con-fident, and ambitious, according to a University of Maryland study.

6. Your Body Language

Attraction causes couples to mirror each other's body language. But don't be overeager to connect. Stay relaxed and let her set the tone, says Lisa Clampett, founder of the Matchmaking Institute. Fidgeting conveys nervousness and triggers the empathetic release of stress chemicals in her brain. "Once she brushes your shoulder or thigh, reciprocate within a minute or two," Fisher says. Or touch her inner forearm, a nerve-rich zone that will create sparks.

7. Your Deal Closer

If you've made the right sort of first impression, she might be wondering how you are in bed. "Consciously or not," says Fisher, "she's looking for signs that you're patient and sensitive to the ways her body finds pleasure." So talk her through the jukebox options. Handle the darts delicately. Call out the scent notes of a bottle of wine. Show refined tastes in these areas and she'll suspect you have others worth exploring—back at her place.

15 Facts You Didn't Know About Your Penis

1. Smoking can shorten your penis by as much as a centimeter. Erections are all about good bloodflow, and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So even if you don't care all that much about your lungs or dying young, spare the li'l guy.

2. Doctors can now grow skin for burn victims using the foreskins of circumcised infants. One foreskin can produce 23,000 square meters, which would be enough to tarp every Major League infield with human flesh.

3. An enlarged prostate gland can cause both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. If you have an unexplained case of either, your doctor's looking forward to checking your prostate. Even if you're not.

4. The average male orgasm lasts 6 seconds. Women get 23 seconds. Which means if women were really interested in equality, they'd make sure we have four orgasms for every one of theirs.

5. The oldest known species with a penis is a hard-shelled sea creature called Colymbosathon ecplecticos. That's Greek for "amazing swimmer with large penis." Which officially supplants Buck Naked as the best porn name, ever.

6. Circumcised foreskin can be reconstructed. Movable skin on the shaft of the penis is pulled toward the tip and set in place with tape. Later, doctors apply plastic rings, caps, and weights. Years can pass until complete coverage is attained. . . . Okay, we'll shut up now.

7. Only one man in 400 is flexible enough to give himself oral pleasure. It's estimated, however, that all 400 have given it their best shot at some point.

8. There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower).

11. Turns out size does matter: The longer your penis, the better "semen displacement" you'll achieve when having sex with a woman flush with competing sperm. That's according to researchers at the State University of New York, who used artificial phalluses (ahem) to test the "scooping" mechanism of the penis's coronal ridge. Next up: curing cancer.

12. The penis that's been enjoyed by the most women could be that of King Fatefehi of Tonga, who supposedly deflowered 37,800 women between the years 1770 and 1784—that's about seven virgins a day. Go ahead, say it: It's good to be king.

13. Better-looking men may have stronger sperm. Spanish researchers showed women photos of guys who had good, average, and lousy sperm—and told them to pick the handsomest men. The women chose the best sperm producers most often.

14. No brain is necessary for ejaculation. That order comes from the spinal cord. Finding a living vessel for said ejaculation, however, takes hours of careful thought and, often, considerable amounts of alcohol.

15. The most common cause of penile rupture: vigorous masturbation. Some risks are just worth taking.

10 New Places to Have Sex

If men weren't great explorers, we never would have found America, the Rockies, or scrambled porn on channel 99. So why should our entire sex life always take place in the same spot? Here's our list of the best places to fool around.

1. On the Washer

Your washing machine produces more vibration than any other appliance in your home. When your butt's on the lid, the motion is transmitted through your pelvis, essentially turning your member into a life-size vibrator.

2. In the Vault

To really add some spice to your sex life, make a quick stop at your bank. A safe-deposit-box room is quiet, the door is locked, and there's no camera. It's a great place to make a deposit and withdraw.

3. At Victoria's Secret

The best dressing rooms for sex are at Victoria's Secret. Sometimes they have love seats in there. Ask the saleswoman if you can go in to make sure you like what your girlfriend is trying on.

4. In a Beanbag Chair

You can contour it to any shape, and it'll support you in ways you're not accustomed to. Doggy-style sex works great when she's on her belly, draped over the amorphous blob (the chair, not you).

5. During Christmas at the In-Laws'

Bring the kids' gifts—wrapped, but in a bag. Say you haven't wrapped them yet and duck into a spare room.

6. A '57 Chevy

That's our nostalgic choice. For more practical men, it's the Ford Excursion, which measures a romp-friendly 227 inches long. As one salesman put it, "It'll hold 36 sheets of half-inch plywood between the wheel wells." Which is one way of thinking of it.

7. A Large Swiss Ball

The ball can actually help improve your depth of penetration, if you're in the right position. Sit on the ball and have her straddle you, facing away from you. Hold her hips for balance, and use the rocking motion of the ball to thrust in and out of her from behind. Do one set of at least 50 repetitions.

8. A National Park

If the missus likes to vocalize, pitch your tent in Alaska's Denali National Park, where 6 million untamed acres and a crowd-thinning permit system leave little risk of waking the neighbors. She'll gasp in delight when the midnight sun bathes the Big One (that's Mt. McKinley, buddy) in salmon pink light.

9. The Elevator

Try a freight elevator. It won't have an alarm, and you can stop it between floors for more privacy. Try this when you and your partner are helping a buddy move into a new apartment. Pack the front and sides of the elevator with boxes; leave the middle clear.

10. The Garage

At a friend's party, offer to fetch some more beer, then slip out the garage door. Nobody will think anything of you being away for 20 minutes, and you can always hide behind the car if you hear someone coming.

Fulfill Her Fantasies

Seven sex tips guaranteed to work wonders

Hey, habits, even bad ones, take time to perfect. You don't just pick them up overnight. So the fact that you've had more than your fair share of sex in this life, while undoubtedly a great source of pride to you, probably means that over the years you've developed a few bad habits -- maybe learned to cut a few corners here and there in the bedroom. Happens to the best. Show us a gorgeous woman and we'll show you a man who's making love to her on autopilot at least once in a while.

The problem here is that women, under the misguided impression that we men have delicate egos, are not always inclined to point out ways we can improve our lovemaking. So the bad habits endure. Replacing your bad sexual habits with some of the better ones here will result in a much happier and more satisfied partner, which, being the selfless sort that you are, is the only thing that really interests you. We should mention, in passing, that it could also result in bedpost-rattling, plaster-loosening, forget-your-own-name, animalistic fun for you, too. In case you're interested.

Habit #1: Be handy, man

When it comes to using your hands to get her worked up, you can't afford to be all thumbs, at least according to the book The Guide to Getting It On! So next time your fingers are doing their love thing, make sure you...

Get them in the right position

When a woman masturbates, she often rests her wrist on her lower abdomen just above the pubic bone. If this is what your partner does, try to do the same, since it will influence the way your fingers feel on her vulva. Try lying parallel to your partner and reaching your arm over her body until your fingers can reach her crotch. This allows your fingers to approach from the same angle that her own fingers do.

Wait for it to come to you

Great lovers know to start with light, gentle caresses that barely touch the inner thighs and pubic hair. Don't go any further until she spreads her legs and/or her pelvis begins to arch upward. Then tease and caress until the lips of her vulva invite your fingers inside.

Flick your wrist

Men typically use only one finger when they get down around the action zone. When your lover does herself, however, she gets her entire wrist into the motion, even if only one finger is actually touching her vulva. This is a subtle and important detail that the great ones all know.

Habit #2: Stay in training

"A man can learn a lot about being a better lover through masturbation -- even if he has a regular partner," says Peter Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., a San Francisco clinical sexologist. "One of men's biggest concerns during sex is that they'll come too soon. Regular masturbation is the perfect way to learn to recognize the signs that you're getting close to orgasm." Here's how to get the most out of Solo Orgasm 101.

Slow down

"The fear of being found out motivates boys to learn to masturbate to orgasm as quickly as possible," says Patricia Love, Ed.D., a marriage and family therapist in Houston and author of Hot Monogamy. The trouble is, these quickies condition your sexual responses in such a way that you end up climaxing much faster than you'd like to with a partner. An occasional lightning orgasm is okay, but try to set aside some time when you can relax and masturbate for 20 minutes or so.

Lighten up

Another danger of high-speed wanking is that a jackhammer stroke creates sensations that can't be reproduced when you're not the only one in the room. "Some men get so used to the hard, fast strokes that they have trouble climaxing with a partner," says Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of Super Sexual Orgasm. To master a new stroke, try switching hands, which will make you very conscious of every move you make and defeat any "automatic" movements.

Habit #3: Broaden your horizons

An effective lover knows there's more to sex than intercourse. "He doesn't simply grab a woman's breasts and then dive for her crotch," says Robert Birch, Ph.D., a marital and sex therapist in Columbus, Ohio. Instead, he "sees intercourse as one of many options." Our sex therapists mentioned many possibilities, from using sex toys to rubbing your penis on different parts of your partner's body, to watching her masturbate. "The essential attitude -- especially in a long-term relationship -- is that nothing in particular has to happen during any sex act," says Constance Avery-Clark, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Coral Springs, Florida.

Habit #4: Float like a butterfly

They may not want to admit it, but women like receiving oral sex as much as we do. If you've already figured out how to make your partner hear colors, we salute you. But if you could use a bit more time in the lab, try this technique: It's the fabled Venus butterfly, described for us here by Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist in Los Angeles:

Spend some time kissing and touching until your partner starts to become aroused, then gently pull back the hood of her clitoris. Stimulate the clitoris with short, then long strokes, with either your tongue or your moistened fingers. Ask your partner to tell you when she's reached at least "8" on an excitement scale of 1 to 10.

Then, with small, circular motions, stimulate the entire outside area of the vagina with your tongue and your fingers until she's back down to "5." Now, go back to the clitoris. When she reaches "8" again, place the palm of your hand against her genitals and slide one finger into her vagina. With your fingertip, tap a spot about 2 inches inside her vagina, on the upper wall. (Home of the elusive G-spot -- some women have it and some don't, but either way, this will feel good.) Now, just keep stroking or licking her clitoris while tapping her G-spot. She'll let you know when it's time to stop.

Habit #5: Keep her waiting

Teasing doesn't come naturally to most men, but it can be very appealing to women. Why rush the greatest thing in life? Instead, enjoy it more...

Take 10 times longer

The stereotypical guy watches his mate undress and then pounces on her like a linebacker on a loose ball. He grabs hold of her breasts and works them like pizza dough, and soon she's bored out of her mind. So, if you want to make a big impression, surprise her with your slowness. The key: Build steadily and specifically to a nipple crescendo for her, says Linda DeVillers, Ph.D., author of Love Skills. Start at the outermost rim of the nipple and slowly spin inward. As your finger travels, you should notice the rim around her nipple (the areola) darken and the nipple itself stiffen. Place a finger on each side of the nipple and push down lightly, pulling your fingers apart as you go. Making the nipple taut (and ready!) in this way will heighten the sensation for her when you start to lick and tickle it a few moments later.

Start early in the day

"Call your lover at work and tell her what you'd like to do to her tonight when she gets home," suggests Gardos. You'll both be thinking about sex for hours.

Habit #6: Catch her off guard

You may have magic hands, but if you make love the same way, time after time, sooner or later she's going to find it as exciting as a rerun of This Old House. "When a woman anticipates every move a man is going to make," says John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, "she may no longer become excited by sex -- and this is very common." Here's how to make a few bedroom improvements:

Try new positions

"My number-one advice for men is: Change your sexual positions frequently," says Cadell. "Her orgasm will feel different in every position, and she'll be grateful for your creativity."

Get away from it all

"Changing the environment is very important for a woman," says Gray. "If you can't afford a hotel, camp out. It's not the location so much as the feeling that she doesn't have to worry about the details, that you're doing the thinking. That gets her out of her mind and into her body."

Habit #7: Play at the pump

While you're trying all those new positions and varied positions (woohoo!), don't forget about the most basic technique of intercourse: the thrusting of your penis. "Monotonous pumping can have a numbing effect on the woman, especially if she's not aroused enough to respond to intense sensation," says Felice Dunas, Ph.D., author of Passion Play. Variations in the depth, speed, rhythm and timing of your pelvic thrusts can dramatically enhance the experience for both of you. Dunas suggests starting with mostly shallow, slow thrusts; as your partner becomes more aroused, mix in a higher percentage of deeper thrusts. To really keep her on her toes, try some brief pauses between thrusts